One day at mass a priest was giving his homily and all of a sudden a little baby started crying and carrying on in the front row. The mother did her best to pacify the child but nothing worked. So finally she got up and started to walk down the aisle to take the baby out of church. The priest stopped his preaching, and very compassionately called out to the mother, "That's OK, you don't have to leave, the child isn't disturbing me." The young woman turned around and said, "No, but you're disturbing my child!"

I thought of that story in preparing for this Pentecost Sunday homily, because as I reflected on the Holy Spirit during this past week, the word that came to mind continually was the word "disturb". Now I'll admit, that's not a word that most people commonly associate with the Holy Spirit. We normally think of the Holy Spirit as the Comforter, the Consoler, the Advocate, the Spirit of Love, the Giver of Spiritual Gifts. And to be sure, the Holy Spirit is all of those things and more. But the Holy Spirit is also the disturber--and this is a dimension of his work that's often neglected and forgotten. And I would say this is one reason why many people fail to recognize the presence of God in their lives. You see they make the mistake of thinking that the only role of the Holy Spirit is to make them feel good. So, for example, if they come to church and don't feel good when they hear the word of God preached, or if they pray and don't feel good in the process, they think that God has forgotten them, they think that the Holy Spirit is a million miles away. And that leads many people to give up on God, or to try to find their consolation somewhere else--either in alcohol or drugs or promiscuous sex or in some other sinful and destructive behavior. Which is a big mistake. Because the fact is that very often when the Holy Spirit is at work, he doesn't make us feel good initially. Eventually he does. But not initially. That's because the Holy Spirit is the spirit of truth. And sometimes as the old saying goes, the truth hurts. The truth convicts us. In fact Jesus says it explicitly in john 16, that one of the primary roles of the Holy Spirit is to convict us of our sins--of the things we need to change and repent of in our lives. This will explain the phenomenon that I sometimes experience after saying mass. A person will come up to me and say, "Fr. Ray, I didn't like what you said today." And then they'll go on to register their complaint. But you see, actually, in many cases, they should not be complaining to me. My intention every time I preach is to speak the full, complete truth of Jesus Christ--not my own, personal, narrow-minded opinions. So if I'm preaching the truth of Jesus Christ, the source of which is the Holy Spirit, and you are disturbed by it, then please: complain to the Holy Spirit! . . Because he's the one that's disturbing you, not Fr. Ray.

Now why does the Holy Spirit do this? Is it the purpose of the Holy Spirit to make our lives difficult and miserable? Not at all. The Holy Spirit is the Lord and giver of life. The Holy Spirit wants us to live holy, productive, ordered, faith- hope- and love-filled lives. But to the extent that there is sin in our hearts, that cannot happen.

The Holy Spirit cannot co-exist with lust, anger, hate, unforgiveness, greed or any other sin. So we should actually rejoice when he disturbs us by convicting us--because that's the first step, that's a necessary step, to deeper conversion. In fact every genuine conversion follows this pattern. You see it in the very first conversions that took place after Pentecost. In today's first reading we heard the story of the Holy Spirit's descent upon the apostles in the Pentecost event--filling them with faith, courage, power, joy and all the gifts they needed to live as strong disciples of Christ--the same gifts that we need. And immediately we are told that peter goes outside and begins to preach the gospel to the people in Jerusalem. And what was the response of the crowd? Did they all say, "gosh peter, after hearing you we feel so good? Every one of us has a warm, fuzzy feeling on the inside?" No! The bible says (and I quote), "when they heard this, they were deeply shaken." In other words, they were greatly disturbed! "they asked peter and the other apostles, "what are we to do, brothers?" Peter answered: "you must reform and be baptized, each one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, that your sins may be forgiven; then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." We are then told that 3,000 people said yes, 3,000 people were baptized, 3,000 people left that gathering filled with peace, joy and new life. But please notice that before that happened, before the spirit acted as their comforter, he acted as their disturber. He convicted them of their sins. But they repented, and that opened them up to the full life of the spirit.

As I said every conversion story follows this pattern.

One conversion story that came to mind in preparing this homily, was one that I came across a couple of years ago in one of bishop sheen's books. I think it provides a perfect illustration of how the Holy Spirit works on us, and how the Holy Spirit (praise God) never gives up on us. Bishop sheen writes:

He replied, "because he talked to me about my soul. All this time I was worried, really troubled in spirit."

Eventually Louis budenz was received into the church. And he remained a good Catholic until his death. Out of love, the Holy Spirit, working through bishop sheen, had disturbed his soul. For seven long years. From his reaction to sheen's voice on the radio, it was obviously not a pleasant experience. But if he had not been disturbed in that way, he would never have received new life in Christ. And so let our prayer on this Pentecost Sunday be, "Come Holy Spirit, and disturb us. Shake us up in the midst of our sins, so that we might open our hearts more fully to God, and come to experience more of his power, joy and peace in our lives. This we ask through Christ our Lord. Amen."

(Pentecost Sunday, 1994. This homily was given on May 22, 1999 at Medium Security Compound, ACI, Cranston, R.I. Edited for prison use by Francis Valliere, written by Fr. Raymond Suriani. [ Read Acts 1 and 2; 1 Cor 12; John 20:19-23])

As one contemplates the Holy Spirit and meditates on His actions in our lives, the word that comes to mind continually is the word "disturb". Now I'll admit, that's not a word that most people commonly associate with the Holy Spirit. We normally think of the Holy Spirit as the Comforter, the Consoler, the Advocate, the Spirit of Love, the Giver of Spiritual Gifts. And to be sure, the Holy Spirit is all of those things and more. But the Holy Spirit is also the disturber--and this is a dimension of his work that's often neglected and forgotten. And I would say this is one reason why many people fail to recognize the presence of God in their lives. You see they make the mistake of thinking that the only role of the Holy Spirit is to make them "feeeel good". So, for example, if they come to church and don't "feeeel good" when they hear the word of God preached, or if they pray and don't "feeeel good" in the process, they think that God has forgotten them, they think that the Holy Spirit is a million miles away. And that leads many people to give up on God, or to try to find their consolation somewhere else--either in alcohol or drugs or promiscuous sex or in some other sinful and destructive behavior. This we know is a big mistake and many a man's downfall. Because the fact is that very often when the Holy Spirit is at work, he doesn't make us "feeeel good" initially. Eventually he does. But not from the beginning. That's because the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth. And sometimes as the old saying goes, the truth hurts. The truth convicts us. And that's the primary purpose of His disturbing. In fact Jesus says it explicitly in John 16:8, that one of the primary roles of the Holy Spirit is to convict us of our sins--of the things we need to change and repent of in our lives. This explains the phenomenon that I sometimes experience after going to mass. A person will come up to my pastor, Fr. Ray, and say, "Fr. Ray, I didn't like what you said today." And then they'll go on to register their complaint. But you see, actually, in many cases, they should not be complaining to Fr. Ray. His intention every time he preaches is to speak the full, complete truth of Jesus Christ--not his own personal opinions. In echoing his homilies here, with his same convictions, if I'm preaching the truth of Jesus Christ, the source of which is the Holy Spirit, and you are disturbed by it, then please: don't complain to me; complain to the Holy Spirit! . . Because he's the one that's disturbing you, not the messenger and not Fr. Ray.

Now why does the Holy Spirit do this? Is it the purpose of the Holy Spirit to make our lives difficult and miserable? Not at all. The Holy Spirit is the Lord and Giver of life. The Holy Spirit wants us to live holy, productive, ordered, faith- hope- and love-filled lives. But to the extent that there is sin in our hearts, that cannot happen.

The Holy Spirit cannot co-exist with lust, anger, hate, unforgiveness, greed, fornication, lies or any other sin. So we should actually rejoice when he disturbs us by convicting us--because that's the first step, that's a necessary step, the first step to a deeper conversion. In fact every genuine conversion follows this pattern. You see it in the very first conversions that took place after Pentecost. In today's first reading we heard the story of the Holy Spirit's descent upon the apostles in the Pentecost event--filling them with faith, with courage, with power, with joy and all the gifts they needed to live as strong disciples of Christ--the same gifts that we need. And immediately we are told that Peter goes outside and begins to preach the Gospel to the people in Jerusalem. And what was the response of the crowd? Did they all say, "Oh, gosh Peter, after hearing you we "feeeel" so good? Every one of us has a warm, fuuuzzy feeling on the inside?" No! The bible says (and I quote), "when they heard this, they were cut to the heart." An older translation says it better, "they were deeply shaken." In other words, they were greatly disturbed! "They asked Peter and the other apostles, "what are we to do, brothers?" Peter answered: "you must reform and be baptized, each one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, that your sins may be forgiven; then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." We are then told that 3,000 people said yes, 3,000 people were baptized, 3,000 people left that gathering filled with peace, joy and above all, a new life. But please notice that before that happened, before the Holy Spirit acted as their comforter, he acted as their disturber. He convicted them of their sins. But then they repented, and that opened them up to the full life of the Spirit.

As I said every conversion story follows this pattern.

One conversion story that comes to mind is in one of Bishop Fulton Sheen's books. I think it provides a perfect illustration of how the Holy Spirit works on us, and how the Holy Spirit (praise God) never gives up on us. Bishop sheen writes:

A man I evangelized some years ago, Louis Budenz, the former editor of the communist daily worker, died just a few years ago. I was talking to his widow on the phone the other day, and she recalled the first time I met her husband. Budenz, as the editor of the Daily Worker, wrote to me and said, "Will you have dinner with me?" Well, it was rather embarrassing. I had been writing articles against the communists, and he had been writing in the Daily Worker against me.

As we sat down to table, Budenz said, "Now I will tell you what we communists have against you. You do not believe that Russia is a democracy."

I said, "Well how can it be a democracy in light of article 125 of your constitution?"

He said, "What is article 125?"

I said, "Well, as you see, I know your constitution better than you do. So we're not going to talk about it--we're going to talk about your soul."

Much later I learned that when he went home that night, he said to his wife, "I was never so angry in my life. Here I was, sent by the Politburo in Russia to talk communism to this man who knows it, and, after he mentioned article 125, he said, 'I'm not interested in your communism, I want to talk to you about your soul.' Imagine, my soul. I'm not interested in that!" And from that point on, his wife told me, whenever I appeared on radio he would become furious that my voice was heard in the house, and he would order that the machine be turned off.

Seven years later I received a letter from him asking to see me---about his soul. His wife asked him then, "why are your writing to him, when you hate him so much?"

He replied, "Because he talked to me about my soul. All this time I was worried, really troubled in spirit."