(Holy Family 1998 (A): This homily was given on December 27, 1998 at St. Pius X Church, Westerly, R.I. by Fr. Raymond Suriani. Read Sirach 3: 2-6, 12-14; Psalm 128; Matthew 2: 13-15, 19-23.)

"Protecting children: the responsibility of every parent."

Tangier Island, Virginia is located in the Chesapeake Bay. I read recently that the town council there voted unanimously not to invite Warner Bros. to use their town for the filming of Message in a Bottle, a movie starring Kevin Costner and Paul Newman. The mayor of Tangier Island, Dewey Crockett said that the members of the council rejected the movie because of their "religious stand." Apparently the film was to contain a sex scene, cursing and the selling of alcohol. The mayor declared, "Our values go way back, and we don't condone these things." Well, as you might imagine, some people on the island were quite upset (particularly those who stood to make big bucks from the filming), but apparently most citizens were quite supportive of the decision. Grace Brown, for example, who runs a local bed and breakfast, put it this way: "We don't want any loud, alcoholic parties, or bad language from the filmers. We just don't want our island to be that way."

I say, "God bless the people of Tangier Island!" Here we have a group of men and women willing to take a firm stand in order to protect their community from what they consider to be unhealthy, corrupting influences. When I read about this I thought to myself: I wonder how many parents are willing to do that today? How many parents are willing to take a stand, how many parents are willing to take appropriate action, in order to protect their children from unhealthy, corrupting influences? Nowadays--unfortunately--when mothers and fathers dare to do such things, they're usually called repressive and narrow-minded (which by the way is exactly what the people of Tangier Island were called by Paul Newman!). Here's a quote from Mr. Newman: "The religious zealots turned the economic benefits into an evil thing. They were looking at me like I was the devil. I've never been in the presence of such small-mindedness, fear, and ignorance in my life. I couldn't get away fast enough." If I lived on Tangier Island, my response to that would be, "Bye Paul. See ya. God bless you, and have a nice life." I would not be intimidated--as parents today should not be intimidated in trying to protect their children from situations that will harm them physically, emotionally and spiritually. In fact, this is a responsibility given to parents by the Lord. As Sirach tells us in today's first reading:

"The Lord sets a father in honor over his children; a mother's authority he confirms over her sons."

That honor and authority are given for service: parents are to serve their children by (among other things) protecting them from evil. And then we have today's responsorial psalm, psalm 128, which indicates that parents who fear God, protect their children and pass on their values to them are blessed:

"Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the recesses of your home; Your children like olive plants around your table. Behold, thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord."

All this came to mind as I reflected on today's Gospel text from Matthew 2. Here we see St. Joseph taking immediate and swift action in order to protect his wife and his foster child from a destructive and potentially-deadly influence. St. Matthew writes,

"After the astrologers had left, the angel of the Lord suddenly appeared in a dream to Joseph with the command: 'Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you otherwise. Herod is searching for the child to destroy him.' Joseph got up and took the child and his mother and left THAT NIGHT for Egypt."

That night! Once Joseph was made aware of this potential threat to his wife and his foster son, he got them out of harms way that night! He didn't wait. He didn't hesitate in taking the appropriate action necessary to protect his family.

I think it's safe to say that most parents today are very concerned to protect their children from situations and people that will cause them physical harm. And that's wonderful. But from my observation, many are not so vigilant when it comes to protecting their children from emotional and spiritual harm--which in the long run can be even more devastating. Pope John Paul II has rightly called the modern culture of the western world "the culture of death." That is a well-chosen phrase, because the attitudes and values that are currently being promoted in this culture of ours are leading large numbers of people toward spiritual (and sometimes even physical) destruction: selfishness, greed, materialism, instant self-gratification.

This means that good parents have got to be highly proactive in their efforts to protect their children from unhealthy emotional and spiritual influences. In this regard, let me give the parents here present a few questions to reflect on:

--Do you know what your children are reading these days? I sure hope so. A professor at the University of Steubenville once said, "Sow a thought, reap and action; sow an action reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny." The type of literature a person reads influences his thoughts, and everything else eventually. Do you know what your children are reading? Sad to say, but there's an awful lot of literary garbage out there--even seemingly innocuous "teen" magazines sometimes encourage activities and behaviors that are seriously sinful.

--Do you know what your children are watching on TV? Do you have certain moral standards concerning what you will and will not watch in your home? I certainly hope that you do. And in this computer age the follow-up question to that one is: Do you know what your children are accessing on the internet? And, if necessary, are you willing to invest in a program that restricts access to certain web sites? (By the way, if you want to know where your children been, just go to the "History" function--it will tell you every web site your children have gone to within a given period of time. I was with parents once who did that. When they saw where their son had been travelling in cyberspace they said, "Isn't this interesting. We will definitely be having a little talk with our son sometime very soon.")

Another question: Do you know who your children's friends are? Do you know their friends' parents? (You can sometimes learn a lot about your children's friends by getting to know their parents. As the old saying goes, 'The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.')

--Do you discuss the issues of the day with your children? That is so important. Young people desperately need to hear the truth about current events from mom and dad. A parent once said to me, "Fr. Ray, when you mentioned such-and-such a moral issue from the pulpit last Sunday I was so upset--my son asked me questions about it all the way home." I said, "Great--that's exactly what I wanted to happen. You need to answer those questions for your son so that he'll be clear about what's right and what's wrong. I'm glad that my homily inspired such conversation. That gave you a great opportunity to educate your son in the truth. Because believe me, if you don't give the right answers your children about moral issues like these, other people will give them other answers: people like Jerry Springer and Howard Stern will be more than happy to teach your children their philosophies of life."

And last but not least, do you pray for your children and with your children--both at Mass and at home? There's an old saying, "The family that prays together, stays together." I think there's a great deal of truth in that. Happily, I've seen it verified in a number of families.