"Three Radical Messages on Love."

The three Scripture passages that we just heard have a common theme, although that might not be immediately obvious to us. The common theme is LOVE. What we have here are three radical messages on love. I call them radical because they are not typical 1990's ideas about love--which means you're not likely to hear any of these things on PRO-FM or MTV.

The first message is found in our first reading: If you love someone, you will help them to face their sins. The Lord says to Ezekiel, "You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel; when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me." And then the Lord gets specific: "If I tell the wicked, 'O wicked one, you shall surely die,' and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked man from his way, the wicked shall die for his guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death." This is why I say the hard things I sometimes say from this pulpit: to be perfectly frank, I say them because I don't want to go to hell!!! And I know I will go there if I--as a priest--deliberately falsify the message of Jesus Christ and the teaching of his Church. Furthermore, because you would not be taught the truth if I compromised it, I would end up taking many of you to hell with me. Now, aren't you glad that I'm so clear and straightforward?!

Apropos of that: a priest friend of mine from a nearby church told me that he recently gave a homily in which he used the word condom and in which he mentioned the serious sin of masturbation. He said that after Mass a man and woman came up to him and told him how upset they were. They said, "Look, if we wanted to hear those things, we'd go over to St. Pius. We come here because you don’t talk about that stuff." The priest was insulted--AND HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN! Because, in effect, these people were saying to him, "Father, go to hell! Don't tell us the truth; don't point out our sin to us; we don't want to hear it." Thank God, the priest knows the message of this text from Ezekiel, and he intends to continue to speak the full truth of Christ in his homilies. At least he will then save his own soul; because, as the Lord says here: "If you warn the wicked, trying to turn him from his way, and he refuses to turn from his way, he shall die for his guilt, but you shall save yourself."

The next message on love is found in the second reading: If you want to be a loving person, then keep the commandments. In the modern world, we don't normally associate love with being faithful to God's commandments--but the Bible does it here in Romans 13 and in many other places. Jesus, in fact, explicitly makes the connection in John 14: 15. But there's also another dimension to this message: if we really want to be a loving person, we will keep the commandments personally--and we will help others to keep the commandments. In this life, many people may tell us that they love us; but if those same people are also encouraging us to sin in some way, then the fact of the matter is they don't really love us. As St. Paul says here, "Love does no evil to the neighbor." This is a message I give to teenagers all the time: I tell them, "If your so-called friends are encouraging you to lie to your parents, to drink, to take drugs, to be sexually impure--then they are not really your friends! They may say they love you, but they don't; because if you really love another person, you will not lead them into sin--you'll help them to be faithful to the laws of God."

The final radical message on love is contained in the Gospel: Sometimes love involves confrontation. In other words, there's a time and a place for what's often called "tough love." Jesus said, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault." Contrary to what some people believe, Jesus did not tell us to sweep our interpersonal problems under the rug, or to pretend that everything's perfect in a relationship when it isn't. Now this is certainly an important message for all of us to take seriously, but I think it's crucial for those among us who are married or contemplating marriage. Here's a scenario that I've observed many times in my fourteen years as a priest: one spouse (for example, the wife) confronts her husband in a loving way and says, "Dear, we have a big problem in our relationship." The husband responds, "No we don't. Everything's fine." Years pass; things don't get any better, and finally the wife says, "I just can't deal with this any more. My feelings for you are gone; I've got to leave." Then--all of a sudden--the husband decides he wants to address the problem; but now the wife says, "No." In her mind, it's too late.

Husbands and wives, I say to each of you this morning: If your spouse confronts you in love and says, "Dear, we've got a problem," please take it seriously! You may not think there's a problem, but if your spouse thinks there's a problem, then you've definitely got one in your relationship! Don't neglect it; don't sweep it under the rug, or your spouse may get to the point where in his or her mind it's too late. And don't be afraid to get help. Jesus here talks about seeking the assistance of friends and the Church to help resolve interpersonal difficulties. We should all do that, when necessary.